The Many Faces Of... http://themanyfacesof.com Sun, 17 Jul 2011 00:49:15 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 Leonardo DiCaprio http://themanyfacesof.com/leonardo-dicaprio/ http://themanyfacesof.com/leonardo-dicaprio/#comments Thu, 10 Feb 2011 19:20:46 +0000 admin http://themanyfacesof.com/?p=31

Leonardo DiCaprio

How to Freak Out!! And Go Crazy!!

Are you being chased by shadows? Is reality being called into question by strange circumstances? Do you regularly fall into CGI-enhanced flashback
sequences? If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, then there’s a good chance that you are FREAKING OUT AND GOING CRAZY!!! As Doctors of Filmology, we advise you to take your meds now as we put our test subject under the microscope. Because no one can FREAK OUT!!! quite like Leo can. We will delve deep into his psyche and watch him lose his mind, his family and his shaving kit.

  • #1 Dom Cobb

    Inception

  • #2 William “Billy” Costigan, Jr.

    The Departed

  • #3 Edward “Teddy” Daniels

    Shutter Island

  • #4 Howard Hughes

    The Aviator

Step One Establish the Setting

It should come as no surprise that populated cities like Boston and Los Angeles are the ideal locations for losing your mind. After all, life is hard in the concrete jungle.

  1. #1 On a flight to Los Angeles, California
  2. #2 Boston, Massachusetts
  3. #3 Shutter Island in Boston Harbor
  4. #4 Los Angeles, California

Into the Deep and Terrifying Waters

Throughout the centuries, water has carried significant symbolism. Perhaps it symbolizes the unknown depths lurking in Leo’s mind.

  1. #1 The beach in limbo
  2. #2 Bodies get dumped in Boston Harbor
  3. #3 Shutter ISLAND. Also, his wife drowns the kids in a lake.
  4. #4 Flying planes across the ocean

Step Two Acquire a Deeply Disturbing Personality Disorder

A mental state is quickly compromised by bouts of anxiety. Are the wide array of drugs helping? Or do they just further contribute to the impending mental breakdown?

  • #1 Dom Cobb

    • Unable to distinguish dreams from reality
    • Anxiety

    Heavy Sedatives Yusef the Chemist

  • #2 William Costigan

    • Paranoia
    • Anxiety

    Oxycontin Dr. Madolyn Madden

  • #3 Edward Daniels

    • Unable to distinguish dreams from reality
    • Schizophrenia

    Chlorpromazine Dr. John Cawley

  • #4 Howard Hughes

    • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
    • Anxiety

    Milk from a Bottle Bring in the milk
    Bring in the milk
    Bring in the milk
    Bring in the milk
    Bring in the milk

Step Three Determine Friends from Foes

There are those who make us crazy and those who make us sane. But in desperate
situations, how does one distinguish friend from foe?

  Crazy Woman Friend or Foe Sidekick
#1 Dead wife Mr. Saito Arthur
#2 Dead mother Frank Costello Captain Queenan
#3 Dead wife Dr. John Cawley Chuck Aule
#4 Dead mother Juan Trippe Noah Dietrich

Step Four The Breaking Point

In one tense moment we watch as reality snaps and the FREAKING OUT!! begins. His world (sometimes literally) comes crashing down.

  1. #1 The ambush by Robert’s subconscious projections
  2. #2 Frank starts looking for the rat
  3. #3 The meeting with George Noyce in Ward C
  4. #4 Katherine Hepburn leaves him for Spencer Tracy
Amount of Facial Hair v. TimeTimeline (Who has time to shave when they’re going crazy?) vs. Amount of Facial Hair

Step Five Say and Do a Bunch of Crazy Shit

The signs were apparent all along! We should have known! We’ve developed charts and graphs to help diagnose exactly when the CRAZY moment hits.

Crazy Shit GraphMannerism vs. Craziness Level

The money quotes:

  1. #1 “You were not supposed to see that! This has nothing to do with you!”
  2. #2 “I’m going fucking nuts, man. I can’t be someone else every fuckin’ day. It’s been a year of this. I’ve had enough of this shit!”
  3. #3 “I gotta get off this rock, Chuck. Get back to the mainland. Whatever the hell’s going on here, it’s bad.”
  4. #4 “Show me the blueprints. Show me the blueprints. Show me the blueprints. Show me the blueprints. Show me the blueprints.”

Step Six Run for Your Life!!!!

On his last thread of sanity, Leo follows the most basic human instinct and makes a run for it. The outcome is usually bleak.

  Leo makes a run for it And thinks he’s made it But not so fast He meets his demise by
Inception Head#1 Flees in a van on level one Wakes up on the plane He spins the top Making it home… or did he?
Departed Head#2 Attempts to expose Sullivan Handcuffs Sullivan at gunpoint Barrigan is waiting for them Getting shot in the head
Shutter Head#3 Storms the lighthouse Exposes Dr. Cawley He’s been a patient for 2 years Getting a lobotomy
Aviator Head#4 Locks himself in a room Succesfully debates the senator He starts freaking out again Being a nutcase again

Bonus! Leo ☺ Libs

Leonard DiCaprio plays Josh , a(n) stepson of an evil landlord that loses his mind as he runs from Crites in this thrilling Sci-Fi Horror Comedy.

Make your very own Leo movie by filling in the blanks, screenshot it and put it on Twitter with the #TMFO_Leo hashtag.
Or click on any of Leo’s previous movies and we’ll fill in the blanks for you!

]]> http://themanyfacesof.com/leonardo-dicaprio/feed/ 72 The Goonies http://themanyfacesof.com/the-goonies/ http://themanyfacesof.com/the-goonies/#comments Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:02:53 +0000 admin http://themanyfacesof.com/?p=26 The Goonies

The Many faces of The Goonies

How to Start a Kid Gang

Kid gangs come in many forms and there are many reasons that you might need to start a kid gang. If monsters are invading your town, form a kid gang. If you are a member of a sports team who against-all-odds has to win the championship this year, you’d better have a kid gang. To be a successful kid gang, you have to have the right kind of talent. To understand the list of the prerequisite roles you’ll need to form your own kid gang, we look to the greatest kid gang of all time: The Goonies.

Michael “Mikey” Walsh: The Leader

Every group needs a leader, and Mikey is the unofficial captain of the Goonies. Like any good leader, he knows the strengths and weaknesses of his friends, from asking Data for a flashlight to handing Chunk the frame that contains the map.

The leader of a kid gang must be someone others look to for answers and direction, someone who can give inspiring speeches when the gang is thinking about quitting, someone with the vision to save the goon docks. Other famous leaders include:

  • Sean Crenshaw in The Monster Squad
  • Gordie Lachance in Stand By Me
  • Sam Emerson in The Lost Boys
  • Amanda Wurlizer in The Bad News Bears
  • Becky “The Icebox” O’Shea in Little Giants
  • Kyle Broflovski in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Stan Marsh in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Benjamin “Benny the Jet” Franklin Rodriquez in The Sandlot
  • Bart Simpson in The Simpsons Movie
  • Charlie Conway in The Mighty Ducks
  • George “Spanky” McFarland in The Little Rascals
  • Ben Crandall in Explorers

Clark “Mouth” Devereaux: The Loudmouth

No kid gang is complete without a loudmouth, obnoxious slickster. Mouth, as denoted by his nickname, plays his role superbly. He possesses the boldness that is
required to lie directly to parents, the authorities,
or even the Fratellis.

  • Patrick in The Monster Squad
  • Teddy Duchamp in Stand By Me
  • Tanner Boyle in The Bad News Bears
  • Michael “Squints” Palledorous in The Sandlot
  • Nelson Muntz in The Simpsons Movie
  • Peter Mark in The Mighty Ducks
  • Carl “Alfalfa” Switzer in The Little Rascals

Richard “Data” Wang: The Brain

On more than one occasion Data’s contraptions saved the day. Pinchers of Power™, Slick Shoes™, the Threat-Alerted Boxing Glove all worked when it mattered. You’ll never achieve your goal without gadgetry. What would James Bond be without Q?

  • Gordie Lachance in Stand By Me
  • Edgar & Alan Frog in The Lost Boys
  • Alfred Ogilvie in The Bad News Bears
  • Nubie in Little Giants
  • Scotty Smalls in The Sandlot
  • Millhouse in The Simpsons Movie
  • Lester Averman in The Mighty Ducks
  • Wolfgang Müller in Explorers

…and The Minority

  • Ahmad Abdul Rahim in The Bad News Bears
  • Rashid Hanon in Little Giants
  • Token in Southpark: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Kenny DeNunez in The Sandlot
  • Lewis in The Simpsons Movie
  • Jesse Hall in The Mighty Ducks
  • Billie “Buckwheat” Thomas in The Little Rascals

Lawrence “Chunk” Cohen: The Fat Kid

What do you get when you combine being overweight and clumsy? Comic
relief! Whether it’s the Truffle Shuffle or a simple splitting of the pants,
your kid gang will need a fat kid. Also, the clumsiness proved
to be beneficial in more than one occasion.

  • Horace in Monster Squad
  • Vern Tessio in Stand By Me
  • Mike Engleberg in The Bad News Bears
  • Rudy “The Neighborhood Gasman” Zolteck in Little Giants
  • Eric Cartman in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Hamilton “Ham” Porter in The Sandlot
  • Ralph Wiggum in The Simpsons Movie
  • Greg Goldberg in The Mighty Ducks
  • Eugene “Porky” Lee in The Little Rascals

Brandon “Brand” Walsh: The Big Brother

Brand didn’t want to spend his day chasing his brother around town; he had a date with Andy. But all kid gangs need a keeper–some older brother type who is charged with the duty of keeping his sibling and friends in line.

  • Rudy in The Monster Squad
  • Chris Chambers in Stand By Me
  • Michael Emerson in The Lost Boys
  • Kelly Leak in The Bad News Bears
  • “Benny the Jet” in The Sandlot
  • Junior Floyd in Little Giants
  • Fulton Reed in The Mighty Ducks
  • Darren Woods in Explorers

Lotney “Sloth” Fratelli:
The Monster

Hidden in a dark and dreary basement is a monster who,
after a couple candy bars and some ice cream, becomes
the gang’s greatest friend. The once mysterious beast
turns out to be generally misunderstood and
becomes a member of the gang, a mascot.

  • Frankenstein’s Monster in Monster Squad
  • Ray Brower “The Body” in Stand By Me
  • Michael Emerson in The Lost Boys
  • Satan in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Hercules “The Beast” in The Sandlot
  • Adam Banks in The Mighty Ducks
  • Wak in Explorers

The Fratellis: The Evil Gang Copper Bones Bonus!

Dressed in black and led by the crackling voice of Ma Fratelli, this evil gang devises a plan to go after the Goonies and steal the rich stuff right out of their hands (or in some cases, a mouth). And they would have gotten away with it too, had it not been for these meddling kids!

  • Dracula, Wolfman, Mummy & Gill-man in The Monster Squad
  • Ace Merril & His Gang in Stand By Me
  • Vampires Led by Max & David in The Lost Boys
  • The Yankees in The Bad News Bears
  • The Cowboys in Little Giants
  • M.A.C. “Mothers Against Canada” in
    South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • The Tigers in The Sandlot
  • The Environmental Protection Agency
    in The Simpsons Movie
  • The Hawks in The Mighty Ducks
  • Butch & Woim in The Little Rascals
  • Aliens & Robots in Explorers

Triple Stones Bonus!
Goonies: The iPad Game

Race your friends in a battle against the Fratellis and One-Eyed Willie’s
booby traps in a quest to save the Goondocks from the evil developers.

Play Now!

]]> http://themanyfacesof.com/the-goonies/feed/ 40 John Cusack http://themanyfacesof.com/john-cusack/ http://themanyfacesof.com/john-cusack/#comments Thu, 13 May 2010 15:25:25 +0000 admin http://themanyfacesof.com/?p=23

The Many faces of John Cusack

HOW TO GET THE GIRL (IN THE 80s)

This is the story of a timeless quest. Whether boy or girl, gay or straight, the proverbial quest to “Get The Girl” has likely consumed us all at one time or another. For some, love is a simple one-step process. For others, it’s defeat after defeat only to find you were looking in the wrong place the whole time. In those times of heartbreak there was always a guide, and his name is John Cusack. In despair? Lost your libido? Just ask yourself one question: “What Would John Cusack Do?”

THE FACES

  1. Walter “Gib” Gibson
    The Sure Thing
  2. Lane Meyer
    Better Off Dead
  3. Lloyd Dobler
    Say Anything
  4. Hoops McCann
    One Crazy Summer

THE MIXTAPE

Exhibit A: For starters, every love story needs a soundtrack

  1. “Heart of Rock & Roll” by Huey Lewis and The News
    “Penny Lover” by Lionel Richie
  2. “One Way Love (Better Off Dead)” by E.G. Daily (aka Dottie)
    “Everybody Wants Some” by Van Halen
  3. “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel
    “Within Your Reach” by The Replacements
  4. “What Does It Take” by Honeymoon Suite
    “Don’t Look Back” by Cassandra Eldridge

map of america

ONCE UPON A TIME

Exhibit B: A quest across the far reaches of the United States

  1. A northeastern college all the way to UCLA
  2. Greendale, California
  3. Seattle, Washington
  4. Nantucket, Massachusetts
timeline

Exhibit C: Timeline of True Love

THERE WAS A BOY

He is depressed because

  1. He can’t get laid
  2. His girlfriend broke up with him
  3. He can’t have the girl he wants
  4. He yearns for true love
  1. The Girl
  2. A Hamburger with a Guitar
  3. Diane Cort
  4. Cupid & the Rhinoceroses

Exhibit D: The subject of his daydreams

HIS SWEET RIDE

  1. 18-wheeler
  2. Black 1967 Camaro SS
  3. Blue Chevy Malibu
  4. Ferrari-powered Sailboat

Exhibit E: His bitchin’ ride

WITH A SWEET RIDE, MANY TALENTS

His Sport & His True Hidden Talent

  1. Football & Shotgunning beers
  2. Skiing & Animation and the sax
  3. Kickboxing & Keymaster
  4. Basketball & Animation

AND A BAND OF TRUSTY SIDEKICKS

  • Lance
    Anthony Edwards
  • Charles De Mar
    Curtis Armstrong
  • Corey Flood
    Lili Taylor
  • The Stork Twins
    Bobcat Goldwhait as Egg
  • Ack Ack Raymond
    Curtis Armstrong
  • George Calamari
    Joel Murray

Exhibit F: The Sidekicks

The Girls

  1. Alison Bradbury
    The Bookworm
  2. Monique Junet
    The French Mechanic
  3. Diane Cort
    The Bookworm
  4. Cassandra Eldridge
    The Demi Hippie

Exhibit G: The girl he really wants

THE BOY LONGED FOR A GIRL

The girl he thinks he wants

  1. The Sure Thing (Nicolette Sheridan)
  2. Beth Truss (Even Barney Rubble wants her)
  3. Pretty much Diane the whole time
  4. Cookie Campbell

BUT SOMEONE WAS STANDING IN HIS WAY

The adversary & Their kryptonite

  1. Jason, the uptight boyfriend & A good time
  2. Roy Stalin, captain of the ski team & Losing
    Ricky Smith, the geeky neighbor & Social settings
  3. Jim Court, Diane’s father & Taxes
  4. Teddy Beckerstead and his father & Lobsters
  1. The driver of a pick-up on a backwoods road
  2. A gang of paperboys & an Asian racing team
  3. Post-graduation plans
  4. A dolphin with rabies

Exhibit H: Other forces of evil working against him

SO HE DEFEATS THEM

How he defeats the adversary

  1. By being spontaneous and fun-loving
  2. Beats Roy down the K-12 on one ski
    Defeats Ricky in ski pole fencing
  3. By default when ‘ol John Mahoney gets thrown in jail
  4. Wins the annual regatta race

AND TOTALLY GETS THE GIRL IN THE END

The movie fades out and they’re making out…

  1. On the roof of the library under the stars
  2. At Dodger field on the hood of his Camaro
  3. Not on fade out, but they totally make out in the park once
  4. On the docks of Nantucket

Ralph Cusack // John Macchio

BONUS: IF CUSACK WAS THE KARATE KID

Before everyone starts freaking out, this is just a re-imagining of The Karate Kid with Cusack. We know that NO ONE can replace The ‘Mach. NO ONE. We know this.

  1. The boy is depressed because
    He has to move to Reseda with his Mom
  2. His sport and hidden talent
    Karate and waxing cars, sanding floors, etc.
  3. The girl
    Ali Mills, Elisabeth Shue
  4. His bitchin’ ride
    Yellow 1950 Chevrolet convertible
  5. His trusty sidekick
    Mr. Kesuke Miyagi, Pat Morita
  6. The adversary and the defeat
    Johnny Lawrence. Crane to the face.

]]> http://themanyfacesof.com/john-cusack/feed/ 51 Alan Rickman http://themanyfacesof.com/alan-rickman/ http://themanyfacesof.com/alan-rickman/#comments Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:51:50 +0000 admin http://themanyfacesof.com/?p=1

A Lesson on How to be a Villain

To be a great villain requires more than merely being rotten to the core. The best bad guys are multi-dimensional and unpredictable. With each patronizing grin, disdainful remark and narcissistic fit, Alan Rickman elevates the role of a villain from the plain ol’ bastard to a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling. Actors take note. We’ve picked our four favorite Rickman villains to illustrate the ultimate lessons in how to be a villain, the Alan Rickman way.

The Faces

1 Sheriff of Nottingham
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
2 Severus Snape
Harry Potter Series
3 Hans Gruber
Die Hard
4 Elliot Marston
Quigley Down Under
Map

Step 1: Establish the Setting

Even though his home base is England, Alan Rickman’s villainy knows no bounds.

Exhibit A: Map of Misery

1 Nottingham
East Midlands, England
2 Hogwarts
Somewhere in Scotland
3 Nakatomi Plaza
Los Angeles, California
4 Western Outback
Australia

timeline of terror

Exhibit B: Timeline of Terror

Step 2: Perfect The Look

Fashion Accessories
1 Medieval David Lee Roth ensemble
2 Wizard robes complete with cape
3 Wool trench coat over suit
4 Cowboy duster and hat
the look
1
The messy mullet		 2
The emo		 3
The pencil-thin		 4
The handlebar

Exhibit C: Hairstyles & facial hair

weapons
1 Bow & Arrow 2 Wand
weapons
3 Machine Gun 4 1874 Sharps Buffalo Rifle

Exhibit D: Adversary’s Weapon

Step 3: Acquire an Adversary

It is crucial that said adversary is as good as Rickman is vile and merciless.

The Adversary His Accomplice(s)
1 Robin of Locksley A band of merry outlaws from Sherwood Forest
2 Harry Potter Ron & Hermione
3 John McClane Sergeant Al Powell, (aka Carl Winslow)
4 Matthew Quigley A band of aborigines

Step 4: Hone An Evil Personality

quotes
1 2 3 4

Exhibit E: Practice saying the adversary’s last name with disdain and over-enunciation

Fine-Tune a Sneer
1 Raging eye bulge
2 Silent rage lip curl
3 Grinning ear-to-ear
4 Teeth flashing squint
battle
1
Spoon		 2
Wand		 3
9mm		 4
Revolver

Exhibit F: Choose a weapon

Step 5: Prepare for Battle

A legion of loyal henchmen is essential.

1 English soldiers & Celtic warriors
2 Death Eaters
3 German terrorists
4 Dopey cowboys

Step 6: The Money Quote

A sarcastic and pompous delivery is key. This is the beginning of the end.

1 “It’s dull you twit, it’ll hurt more.”
2 “You might be laboring under the delusion that the entire wizarding world is impressed with you.”
3 “SHOOT the GLASS!”
4 “Oh, by the way, you’re fired.”

Step 7: The Untimely Demise

At this point, Rickman has underestimated his foe and written his own death certificate. Here’s the blow-by-blow.

  A Henchman Doesn’t Get the Job Done So He Kills/Attempts to Kill And Meets His Demise By
1 His cousin, Guy of Gisbourne Half of Sherwood Forest Getting stabbed with his own dagger
2 Draco Malfoy Dumbledore Spoiler Alert! Bitten in the neck by a snake
3 Karl Vreski The adversary’s ex-wife Being thrown off a building
4 Every cowboy in Australia Quigley and Crazy Cora Getting shot with his own gun
bonus

Bonus: If Rickman played Palpatine

The Setting

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.

Preparing for Battle

Lightsaber. A legion of loyal Storm Troopers.

Money Quote

“Mr. Skywalker… The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.”

Perfect the Look

Dirty old man. Wizard robes and cape.

Acquire an Adversary

Jedi. The forces of good.

The Untimely Demise

Attempted to kill Luke Skywalker. Got thrown off a building by his loyal henchman, Darth Vader.

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