How to Start a Kid Gang

Kid gangs come in many forms and there are many reasons that you might need to start a kid gang. If monsters are invading your town, form a kid gang. If you are a member of a sports team who against-all-odds has to win the championship this year, you’d better have a kid gang. To be a successful kid gang, you have to have the right kind of talent. To understand the list of the prerequisite roles you’ll need to form your own kid gang, we look to the greatest kid gang of all time: The Goonies.

Michael “Mikey” Walsh: The Leader

Every group needs a leader, and Mikey is the unofficial captain of the Goonies. Like any good leader, he knows the strengths and weaknesses of his friends, from asking Data for a flashlight to handing Chunk the frame that contains the map.

The leader of a kid gang must be someone others look to for answers and direction, someone who can give inspiring speeches when the gang is thinking about quitting, someone with the vision to save the goon docks. Other famous leaders include:

  • Sean Crenshaw in The Monster Squad
  • Gordie Lachance in Stand By Me
  • Sam Emerson in The Lost Boys
  • Amanda Wurlizer in The Bad News Bears
  • Becky “The Icebox” O’Shea in Little Giants
  • Kyle Broflovski in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Stan Marsh in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Benjamin “Benny the Jet” Franklin Rodriquez in The Sandlot
  • Bart Simpson in The Simpsons Movie
  • Charlie Conway in The Mighty Ducks
  • George “Spanky” McFarland in The Little Rascals
  • Ben Crandall in Explorers

Clark “Mouth” Devereaux: The Loudmouth

No kid gang is complete without a loudmouth, obnoxious slickster. Mouth, as denoted by his nickname, plays his role superbly. He possesses the boldness that is
required to lie directly to parents, the authorities,
or even the Fratellis.

  • Patrick in The Monster Squad
  • Teddy Duchamp in Stand By Me
  • Tanner Boyle in The Bad News Bears
  • Michael “Squints” Palledorous in The Sandlot
  • Nelson Muntz in The Simpsons Movie
  • Peter Mark in The Mighty Ducks
  • Carl “Alfalfa” Switzer in The Little Rascals

Richard “Data” Wang: The Brain

On more than one occasion Data’s contraptions saved the day. Pinchers of Power, Slick Shoes, the Threat-Alerted Boxing Glove all worked when it mattered. You’ll never achieve your goal without gadgetry. What would James Bond be without Q?

  • Gordie Lachance in Stand By Me
  • Edgar & Alan Frog in The Lost Boys
  • Alfred Ogilvie in The Bad News Bears
  • Nubie in Little Giants
  • Scotty Smalls in The Sandlot
  • Millhouse in The Simpsons Movie
  • Lester Averman in The Mighty Ducks
  • Wolfgang Müller in Explorers

…and The Minority

  • Ahmad Abdul Rahim in The Bad News Bears
  • Rashid Hanon in Little Giants
  • Token in Southpark: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Kenny DeNunez in The Sandlot
  • Lewis in The Simpsons Movie
  • Jesse Hall in The Mighty Ducks
  • Billie “Buckwheat” Thomas in The Little Rascals

Lawrence “Chunk” Cohen: The Fat Kid

What do you get when you combine being overweight and clumsy? Comic
relief! Whether it’s the Truffle Shuffle or a simple splitting of the pants,
your kid gang will need a fat kid. Also, the clumsiness proved
to be beneficial in more than one occasion.

  • Horace in Monster Squad
  • Vern Tessio in Stand By Me
  • Mike Engleberg in The Bad News Bears
  • Rudy “The Neighborhood Gasman” Zolteck in Little Giants
  • Eric Cartman in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Hamilton “Ham” Porter in The Sandlot
  • Ralph Wiggum in The Simpsons Movie
  • Greg Goldberg in The Mighty Ducks
  • Eugene “Porky” Lee in The Little Rascals

Brandon “Brand” Walsh: The Big Brother

Brand didn’t want to spend his day chasing his brother around town; he had a date with Andy. But all kid gangs need a keeper–some older brother type who is charged with the duty of keeping his sibling and friends in line.

  • Rudy in The Monster Squad
  • Chris Chambers in Stand By Me
  • Michael Emerson in The Lost Boys
  • Kelly Leak in The Bad News Bears
  • “Benny the Jet” in The Sandlot
  • Junior Floyd in Little Giants
  • Fulton Reed in The Mighty Ducks
  • Darren Woods in Explorers

Lotney “Sloth” Fratelli:
The Monster

Hidden in a dark and dreary basement is a monster who,
after a couple candy bars and some ice cream, becomes
the gang’s greatest friend. The once mysterious beast
turns out to be generally misunderstood and
becomes a member of the gang, a mascot.

  • Frankenstein’s Monster in Monster Squad
  • Ray Brower “The Body” in Stand By Me
  • Michael Emerson in The Lost Boys
  • Satan in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Hercules “The Beast” in The Sandlot
  • Adam Banks in The Mighty Ducks
  • Wak in Explorers

The Fratellis: The Evil Gang Copper Bones Bonus!

Dressed in black and led by the crackling voice of Ma Fratelli, this evil gang devises a plan to go after the Goonies and steal the rich stuff right out of their hands (or in some cases, a mouth). And they would have gotten away with it too, had it not been for these meddling kids!

  • Dracula, Wolfman, Mummy & Gill-man in The Monster Squad
  • Ace Merril & His Gang in Stand By Me
  • Vampires Led by Max & David in The Lost Boys
  • The Yankees in The Bad News Bears
  • The Cowboys in Little Giants
  • M.A.C. “Mothers Against Canada” in
    South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • The Tigers in The Sandlot
  • The Environmental Protection Agency
    in The Simpsons Movie
  • The Hawks in The Mighty Ducks
  • Butch & Woim in The Little Rascals
  • Aliens & Robots in Explorers

Triple Stones Bonus!
Goonies: The iPad Game

Race your friends in a battle against the Fratellis and One-Eyed Willie’s
booby traps in a quest to save the Goondocks from the evil developers.

Play Now!